There once was a brother named Brandon
Who lived with reckless abandon.
It’s a sight to behold,
Like a story of old,
When his heart and his God work in tandem.
Well, Chris was a merry old soul!
With laughter he made our lives full.
So, my dear brother Chris,
I submit to you this:
Press on in your heart toward the goal.
O Stephen, my nearsighted friend
Whose antics seem never to end:
You’re a warrior of sorts.
Armed with quips and retorts,
All the hurts of this world you transcend.
Well-spoken and slick, Tyler Will
With your wit, you move in for the kill.
Yet as grade points accrue,
Nonetheless you pursue
The promise of heavenly thrill.
To Scott, whom the Lord has called forth
For a life of unparalleled worth:
Since your manners are mild,
You’ll have wealth undefiled
When the meek shall inherit the earth.
Dear God, hark and heed this petition
For Aaron with steadfast volition.
Be pleased to perfect
his whole life, to reflect
Your own heart of utmost contrition.
Though he seems like a regular guy,
Of Jonathan don’t go awry!
His acoustical threat
With a bass clarinet
Is unrivaled by fierce samurai.
To the entity called Jessicandy,
I speak to the half known as Andy:
You’re the near-perfect beau
Of a girl we all know.
With affairs of the heart, you’re quite handy.
To Eddie, whose prayers are so fervent
Of His righteous commands, so observant:
Oft-bereft of a dime,
Yet you give of your time
That you might hear, “well done, faithful servant.”
Dear Sam, I believe you’ll agree
That in all things, much love is the key.
So I’ll lay it down stark:
You take care of my Shark
Or you’re going to answer to me.
Today's post is guaranteed to satisfy 100% of your recommended daily allowances for the following: limericks, archaic language, sarcasm, not-quite-rhymes, made-up words, and sentimentality.
